A Key to Player Achievement
"Positive Parental Support"
By Rob Herringer,
Kansas Youth Soccer
State Director of Coaching

My mom was a soccer mom before being a soccer mom was considered cool. After teaching Math to a building full of energetic high schoolers, she would load me into her Pontiac Grand Am and haul me all over Omaha, Nebraska for training sessions and matches with my premier club team, sometimes up to an hour away from home. I never missed a training session or match unless I was truly ill or the event was canceled due to inclement weather. When looking back on the numerous sacrifices she made in order to allow me the opportunity to play the game, I am simply amazed. I had no idea that at that time in my life, her sacrifices would lead to the beautiful life I get to live each and every day. Now, my mom wasn't just good at getting me to events on times, which was always a firm requirement - early was on time, and on time was certainly late. She also personified what it was to be a positive, supportive parent. She never expected anything out of me but my best effort. She would never sit me down and discuss her expectations for my performance, or offer up any kind of solution after a big loss (or win for that matter). She never called the coach and questioned my playing time or his or her decision-making. She also never made a spectacle out of herself at matches by yelling at referees, coaches or players. She was simply my biggest fan.
My mom was also the biggest reason why I played the game for over 17 years. Due to her undying support, all I ever wanted to do was play my best and enjoy the overall experience of sport and competition. I never felt pressure to perform at a certain level, score a large amount of goals, receive a massive amount of playing time of earn a college scholarship. Any and all pressure I experienced was due to my own intrinsic drive and determination. I was always taught that I got out of the game what I put in, and my mom was there to support me every step of the way.
Unfortunately, not all children get to experience the game like I did. The reality is that the level of negative parental support has hit a danger zone in this country and seemingly in many parts of the world. Many soccer parents in this day and age are perceived as overbearing, opinionated and unrealistic. Although in their eyes they are merely supporting their child's dream of making the high school varsity team or receiving a college scholarship, many times coaches perceive parents as wanting those dreams more than the players. We all have horror stories we can share about parents at youth soccer events stalking the sidelines and making life unbearable for the players, coaches, referees, and fans of our game. It has become very clear that some of these parents simply want it more that their kids.
The overall message of this article is that the absolute best soccer parents are the ones who generally let their children do their own thing. A parent's job is not to motivate, critique, and complain. So what can parents do for their children so they continue to enjoy the game and have every opportunity to succeed? Love them, support them, feed them a balanced diet, and above all, just let them play. Parents should support their child's development in every way possible. Also, always keep in mind the true goal of youth soccer is player development. Youth coaches are doing what they can to develop each and every child, athletically and socially. Club directors of coaching and state coaching education staffs are doing everything they canto make sure the club coaches are kept up-to-date on the latest practices and philosophies on the most effective ways to develop our players. It is truly teamwork at its finest, and parents are a very important part of that team. So parents, give your child positive support from your end, let the coaches coach the best way they know how and let your child find their own way in the game. With all of us working together in a positive way, all of our children will have the tools they need to reach their true potential and find a never ending love for the game.